Showing posts with label musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label musings. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

an year of solitary reading

It is that time of the year when one thinks about what he or she did in the past 12 months. People will reflect upon their good and bad deeds and will come up with new resolutions for the New Year. I've always been a no resolution person, simply because I do not believe in them. Giving up drinks, eating less non vegetarian, bringing down weight to 60kg, going to gym, learn new technology, get a new vehicle etc is just not me. I do not plan for these things. I take it as it comes. And probably the only resolution I, knowingly or unknowingly takes, is to read as many books as possible.

Alexis, in his latest blog post, talks about finding time to read and says he has given up television to find time for reading. I know many a people who say they do not find time to read. To quote Alexis – “People who are passionate about books and who love reading would somehow find time to read; at least a few pages or chapters every day. For them reading is like eating. If they don’t read they starve.” And I believe in that.

Let me tell you, I have that irresistible feeling, which I cannot explain, deep down the heart if I do not read everyday. It has become an addiction. This year I had moved out and was staying alone, since the last standing roommate also decided to tie the knot. I had lot of time at hand and lot of books to read. Sometimes I shut out TV completely. There were weekends where I never switched it on. I slept just for sleeping except in the weekends, when I woke up at 10 AM. I stayed late and read. I read in the toilet, and I read in lifts. I read while my system rebooted, and I read at the office cafeteria. It has been a year of solitary reading, which I am proud of. This post is not about my achievements in reading this year, but about the good books I read in English and I hope you too read them.


I started the year with A Town called Dehra, by Ruskin Bond on a train en route to Bhubaneswar. It is a simple book where the author explains the town, Dehradun, where he was brought up. I then moved on to The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Ah! What can I say about the master? The story is about a father, his 3 sons, his death and an illegitimate son Smerdyakov and the search for the murderer. The novel also portrays Oedipal theme in a very mild manner. It is novel about crime, passion, jealousy and love. Dostoyevsky has put in a lot of autobiographical elements in his final novel and the best part of the book is the characterization of people of the novel. You will feel hatred for the father, Fyodor Karamazov and think whether such persons do exist. They hit on you and believe me it is definitely going to give you a hangover. And the best quote I liked from it is Father Zosima’s advice to Fyodor Karamazov – “A man who lies to himself, and believes his own lies, becomes unable to recognize truth, either in himself or in anyone else, and he ends up losing respect for himself and for others. When he has no respect for anyone, he can no longer love, and in him, he yields to his impulses, indulges in the lowest form of pleasure, and behaves in the end like an animal in satisfying his vices. And it all comes from lying-to others and to yourself”. The Brothers Karamazov is undoubtedly the best book I read this year.

The next best thing I read would be Amulet, by Roberto Bolano and The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene, followed by The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. Amulet is about a woman’s resistance to the Mexican army’s 1968 invasion of the university where she studied. As she lay down in the women’s toilet she recalls her bohemian way of life. She calls herself the “Mother of Mexican Poetry”. I always loved Latin American authors and this one, which may not be the best of Bolano, truly reflects the life of Latin American poets and writers during the times when Mexican unrest.

The Power and the Glory is also set in Mexico but covers a different theme. Its main protagonist is the unnamed Roman Catholic priest, called as the “whisky priest” for his love for alcohol, who evades the anti clerical governor and his secret police in an area where Catholicism is outlawed. But the priest is sinful and is haunted by the past especially the fact that he has fathered a child. He also meets a Judas like character in his journey who finally tips him of to the Police Lieutenant. The priest is captured and killed, but in the end we see another priest coming to the same area, may be suggesting that power of Catholic Church.

The Scarlet Letter talks about the themes of sin and guilt. In the 17th Century Boston a married young woman, Hester Prynne, is accused of committing adultery and giving birth to a child. She is not ready to reveal the name of her lover, the father of the child. So as a punishment for committing adultery, on the breast of her gown, a rag of scarlet cloth that is of the shape of a letter is stitched up. The upper case letter is A, which represents adultery that she has committed and it is a letter of shame for the entire town. She is forced to live in the outskirts of the town after being shunned by the entire community. Meanwhile her husband now assuming the name of Roger Chillingworth comes to the town and takes up the role of a medical practitioner for the ministry. He has his own doubts about Hester’s lover and soon founds out that it is none other than a Minister of the City, Dimmesdale. A letter A, supposedly burned onto the Dimmesdale’s chest under mysterious circumstances, is seen by Chillingworth when he attends Dimmesdale for his mysterious heart trouble. Chillingworth’s suspicion is confirmed and he now wants revenge. Nathaniel Hawthorne has handled the theme of sin and guilt with dense psychological details. It is too painful to read at times and needs a lot of patience.

Roots: The saga of an American Family is a big, time consuming novel written by Alex Haley about the African slaves brought into America. It follows the protagonist Kunta Kinte from his birth in a small village Juffure in Gambia, Africa to his arrival in America. He was a practicing Muslim of Madinka tribe before being captured and enslaved by the Whites. It then traces his journey to Americas in filthy conditions, his escape attempts, his marriage and raising kid. I read it till there and found it too hard to move. Nevertheless it’s a good book if one wants to understand about the conditions in which slaves where brought up once upon a time in America. The tough part of the book is to understand is the Language spoken by the Black Americans in those times.

Zorba the Greek written by the Greek Novelist Nikos Kazantzakis is my current read. It is the story of mysterious and adventurous Alexis Zorba who befriends the narrator, who is ready to leave for Crete to open a lignite mine. Zorba approaches him for work and the narrator is fascinated with Zorba’s opinion and attitude. He decides to have him as his guy to over see the mining. Once at Crete the narrator, who has socialist ideologies, tries to befriend the workers. Zorba warns him saying – “Man is a brute.... If you're cruel to him, he respects and fears you. If you're kind to him, he plucks your eyes out.” I am yet to finish it and by the way it is going I should finish it fast. It is interesting and it is about Zorba only. He is the main character around which the story is revolved. The way in which he handles people, his thoughts about life, the way he seduces Madam Hortense and makes love, his adventurous mind, all leaves a big impression on you.

That ends the list and post. It has been a year where I bought a lot of books too. I couldn’t go to the Bangalore Book Festival this year, but still Blossom, Mathrubhumi and DC Books didn’t disappoint me in my quest for books. I have been also been reading a lot of Malayalam Novels, Short stories and Screenplays and have written about the same in my Malayalam Blog

And as I started this post quoting Alexis, let me end this post with the same message that Alexis has put out in his post. For this Christmas and New Year when you are buying gifts for kids buy them books instead of a play station or video game. Take them to the local library and get them a membership. Read out books to them if possible and inculcate the love for books and passion for reading. Teach them good reading and not just good books.

Wishing you all a Happy Christmas and Prosperous New Year ahead.


Image Courtesy - The Guardian UK

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

at times..

You say the test cricket is dying. And then to prove all the critics wrong New Zealand and Pakistan sets up a brilliant match in Napier, New Zealand. Pakistan sets a target of 208 in 43 overs for New Zealand, and New Zealand starts well. The purist in me is ecstatic hoping for a thrilling finish. Postpones my ablutions till tea break, and once it is done, speeds on Red to catch the remaining of the match on the Net.

And what does god do?

He/She sent huge droplets of water in the form of rain to Mc Lean Park, Napier. And New Zealand needed 118 runs in another 23 overs with 10 wickets in hand.

Ah, God. You are so cruel at times. Guess you too turned 20-20 off late.

Monday, December 07, 2009

of ghosts and vampires

This week while I was coming back home, a movie was put on in bus. It was the recent Malayalam movie kaaNaakaNmani (കാണാകണ്മണി) directed by the Veruthe Oru Bharya fame Akku Akbar. It had a powerful message against young couples purposefully aborting their pregnancy just because they are not ready for parenthood. But the movie as a whole is executed very badly. The director has brought in a concept, where the restless soul of the aborted child (named Shivani) enters into the couple's present child (Anagha) and wows to kill Anagha since Shivani never got the care that Anagha got from the couple. The parents realise their mistake and as per the elders advice apologizes to their aborted child. But Shivani is not so easily tamable. She takes Anagha to a waterfall to drop her, but seeing that her parents are crying and devastated at Anagha's plight, decides to give Anagha back.

I am not dwelling into the details of the movie as the movie lacks a good script. There are lot of loopholes and no wonder it bombed in the box office. But what made me write this post is the different way in which the director treated the restless soul (ദുരാത്മാവ്) of the kid. I almost expected a Thilakan or some other meledam namboodiri or a Kathanaresque Father (the couple are Christian-Hindu) making an entry and killing(or removing) the haunting Shivani. But there was nothing like that. The trouble goes on its own.

That made me wonder why is that it is necessary that restless soul needs to be treated with a sorcerer. While Manichitrathaazhu brought in science and sorcery to tame Nagavalli , some of the Vinayan movies like Vellinakshatram and Aakashaganga entirely depended on the well known sorcerers for taming the vampires. Why one never thought that the restless souls encroached onto the human mind may go on its own? In this movie the vengeance, which actually should be towards the parents (because they took the decision of aborting), is against the sibling child who is raised with great care by the couples. May be that is why Shivani decided to leave Anagha alone. But why she didn't kill her parents then? How can she sit calmly with out fulfilling her vengeance? Aren't all ghosts/vampires supposed to get satisfaction by killing the person they intend to? Or am I totally lost here :-)

Kaanakanmani for sure is a pathetic movie, but this twist on the restless soul abandoning the human soul without any problem is what surprised me. Akku Akbar takes out a very valid message out to the viewers, but in a pathetic way.

Long Live Manichitrathaazhu!!

Sunday, October 04, 2009

life as such..

Life this year has been more of deaths all around. Apart from the famous, there have been many a deaths in my family too. My Vallyachan's death was a shock to us, especially when no one expected it. He was down and out and there was a time when we all thought he wouldn't survive another day, but he made it and then lived for another year more in proper health, and then one fine morning he passed away in his sleep. How cruel life is? I was in Chennai, when Achan called up and informed about his death. I didn't know what to do for a few minutes. I was acting weird, finding a means to return home at the earliest. I couldn't reach vallyachan's house on time, but only the next day when the cremation was over. And all I could do was that.

Narayanettan was an all rounder in my Dad's family. He is my uncle's brother in law, and was an omnipresent personality. Marriage or house warming or any other function he will be there. A nice person who always enquired my studies and job. Cancer it was. Probably I am thankful to god here as I never saw him after he was diagnosed with cancer. My parents said the chemotherapy and medicines had weakened him. I went after his death and paid my respects. My memory of him is intact in my mind. The completely grayed hair, the white dhothi and shirt and the black bag all remains intact in my mind.

People whom we grew up with, whom we heard of and admire while growing up. All of them are turning old and slowly fading away. Some are sudden, while some are gradual. We can't bear it. And at times we feel so helpless. Sometimes so un-educated or un-informed like what happened with me today. I was pinging a friend of mine in the chat after not seeing her for a long time. She appeared quite serious, which was really opposite to her cheerful character. I didn't mind to bother her any further and bid her good bye and logged out. And then I checked out my blog to see an update on her blog where she wrote these -

"No one to care, no one to turn to, no one to talk to, no one to give advice, no one to fight with, no one to ask for an opinion, no one to bother even if I die in the middle of the road..

I was dumb stuck and almost in tears as I read those lines. I didn't know when I chatted with her that the person who completed her Home had gone far far away from her. I didn't know what all she was going through when she replied me "what u think?" for my question -"something serious?". I didn't know that she had just lost her mother. I didn't know. And as I logged in back, I didn't see her. I was helpless and didn't know what to do. There was no means to contact, and there were no words to say. And I felt so bad. Life is again being cruel.

A few days before one of my friend's father passed away. That too was a sudden one. My friend had just become a dad and he was rushing between his new born kid and ailing father. His father had his last breath an hour before my friend reached his bedside, to show his new born kid to his father. Life is just being so cruel.

These are just time when we fell so helpless and inconsolable. We feel in this life we have done everything and feel contented to have a good steady job, a good family, a good education. And yet at times like these we do not know what to do.

Life as such is just getting lonely I should say. There have been a lot more of reading going into my thought process. And its with reading one grow - "Vaayichu Valaruka". I hope I can grow too. The biggest achievement I did in recent months would be my completion of a story, which was done in a time bound manner. I should be thankful to my friend Joju who suggested my name to Prabhodhini Vayanasala Editors in Bangalore for an article. And for the first time in my life I wrote a story under the compulsion of a dead line. I hope it appear. And as I go into the last quarter of the year, as I get ready for a new year, I hope I can do whatever I believe to do. To go home more often, to travel and see places, to read a lot and write a bit.

I hope.

Friday, April 04, 2008

musings from an elevator journey...

I am on a semi WBL these days and I leave late round at 10 PM. Considering the fact that I never used to stay after 8 PM in office this is very late for me :).

Today considering the long weekend ahead, I left a bit early at 9PM and walked towards the lobby. The director of another group in my company joined me in a bit and then a person who is doing carpentery at our office joined us. I had already pressed the Down Arrow Button for the lift and we all were waiting for either of the two lifts to come from the 7th and 9th floors, as they were shown on their downward journey. Our office is in 5th floor and none of the lifts resting at the ground floor were bothered to serve us. So tired you know!!

These lifts use some strange logic to move around across all the 9 floors. We are depended on the two lifts coming from floors above us to take us down rather than any of the four lifts staying idly at ground floors. Suddenly the carpenter presses the Up Arrow Button for the lifts and then the two idle lifts at ground floor rush to the 5th and open right in front of us in a space of few seconds. As the person who pressed the button and the director entered the lift, I stayed there cribbing - "Its going Up, Its going Up". But that person called me with his hands to come in fast and I reluctantly joined them thinking that the lift will go up. And then it took us down.

Never in my life I have pressed a lift button in the wrong direction. I have seen people getting in the wrong directions only to make the lift more crowded. And I hate it, when some one in 1st floor who wants to go to 5th floor, takes the downward lift, go to the basement and then come back up only to frustrate people who have pressed the correct button and waiting to go up from the basement.

I do not know whether that person's move was good or bad, but it took us down rather than waiting there for the lifts. And that was smart. It was just pure common sense to think that the lifts coming from upper floors are to take more time than the ones coming from the ground floor. And I just didn't think about that. Rather I waited in the methodical way by pressing the Downward Arrow Button.

Oh God! Life is such a great Teacher.

Tail-Piece: My Mom always tells me: "Nee Oru Enjineeear Aayittentha Kaaryam Common Sense Ennu Paranja Saadhanam Ninakkundo" , when I messes up any trivial job, she asks me to do. Very True!!